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I’m Alexis M. Lott, your host, your guide—think of me as a big sister on this healing journey. I’m thrilled to be sharing this space with you. Though I’ve called this “season two” of **Hey, Let’s Heal**, it feels like a new beginning to me. Initially, I struggled to launch this podcast the way I envisioned it, but now, I feel blessed to be here with you, inviting you into a space where we can work through life’s toughest issues, especially healing from trauma with the goal of thriving in our relationships.
My Journey: Healing From Trauma
Like many of you, my journey hasn’t been easy. For 16 years, I’ve walked down the path of healing since 2007. While I’ve had deep roots within the Christian church growing up in Columbus, Georgia, it wasn’t until I had a radical encounter with God in 2007-2008 that I began to understand what truly needed healing within me. I grew up facing multiple traumas: being born with sickle cell disease, enduring molestation as a child, facing years of physical abuse from fourth grade until the night before my high school graduation, and navigating through parental estrangement. Add to that the burdens of extreme bullying and the internal struggle to feel worthy enough to use my God-given gifts and talents within the Christian church. But perhaps the biggest challenge was healing my heart to be ready for a romantic relationship and marriage. Today, I’m honored to use this platform to share what I’ve learned and continue to maintain on my healing journey, to help you on yours.
Why Forgiving Family Matters
In this episode, I want to delve into ‘forgiving family’—an area I believe is crucial because family is foundational. Understanding our family relationships and learning to forgive is fundamental to healing because, oftentimes, one of our deepest fears as trauma survivors is the worry that we might become like those who mishandled us. To address this, today’s episode is meant to help calm those fears, identify them, and recognize them. We will also pray and seek God’s guidance so that He may fill those areas with His healing presence. If you see me referring to something off-screen, it’s my iPad with notes. I strive to stay on track and provide you with a healthy, structured conversation.
— **Starting With Prayer** Before diving deeper, let’s start with a prayer: Father, I thank you for the person on the other end of this recording—for their life, health, strength, and everything they have going on right now. Whether they’re washing dishes, folding clothes, driving, or working out, thank you for drawing them here and for their willingness to listen. Bless this time together and let something in this message touch their hearts, help them change their minds, and draw them closer to you. In your son Jesus’ name, we pray and give thanks. Amen.
— **Understanding Family Dynamics** Forgiving family can be particularly tricky due to the intricate and unchangeable nature of family relationships. Unlike friends whom we can choose and leave, family is bound by DNA and shared history. This makes setting boundaries and forgiving much more complex. Consider the story of Jacob and Esau for context on how family tensions can escalate and require divine intervention for resolution. Another pertinent tale is that of Joseph, whose journey also exemplifies the necessity and struggle of forgiving family.
Personal Testimonies: Navigating Forgiveness and Healing
1. _Incident One:_ Growing up, I endured physical abuse from my stepfather, resulting in a deeply strained relationship. I lived in constant fear and wanted to escape but couldn’t because of financial constraints and fear stemming from my chronic illness, sickle cell disease. It was only when I mustered the strength to apologize, despite feeling wronged, that a door opened, allowing me to leave that toxic environment and move in with an aunt.
2. _Incident Two:_ My estranged relationship with my mother and stepfather was highlighted during the planning of my wedding. Despite the distance and emotional disconnect, I found myself relying on my mother for financial support. God’s lesson during this time was clear: true healing required that I address and repair my relationship with my mother, regardless of my feelings of resentment and betrayal. Both incidents underscore the importance of humility and willingness to apologize, even when it feels unjust. These actions were essential in paving the way for my healing and growth.
The Stages of Healing
Healing happens in stages:
1. Circling: Recognizing an issue exists in your relationships but not fully understanding it.
2. Awakening: Coming to terms with the root causes and seeing the patterns—often referred to as the “dark night of the soul.”
3. Acceptance: Laying down the need to force others to change and accepting them for who they are.
4. Wholeness: Achieving a state where you’ve integrated and healed from the trauma, ready to build healthier relationships.
Conclusion: You Are Seen, Known, and Loved
Healing is a journey that requires patience, grace, and a lot of inner work. I never imagined having healthy relationships or a thriving marriage because of my tumultuous past, but I’m living proof that it gets better. Always remember these three words: _You are seen, you are known, you are loved_. God sees your struggles, understands your pain, and loves you immensely. I encourage you to visit my website to get a “Seen, Known, Loved” t-shirt or sticker as a daily reminder of your healing journey.
Let’s end with a prayer: Father, bless your children listening to this podcast. Help them feel seen, known, and loved by you. Open doors for them, provide healthy communities, and give them the grace to overcome their struggles. Thank you for this moment in time. In Jesus’ name, Amen. Thank you for joining me today on **Hey, Let’s Heal**. Stay tuned for more episodes where we dive deeper into the journey of healing from family traumas. Until next time, remember you are seen, you are known, you are loved.