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In Episode 3 of our Hey Let’s Heal podcast series, Alexis Lott dives into the challenging yet crucial topic of stress addiction. Specifically, we explore the long-lasting impacts of a toxic upbringing and the emotional stress that ensues, but providing hope for healing found in Christ.

Do you find yourself trapped in a seemingly endless loop of stressing yourself out to accomplish tasks, unable to find an escape? Do you feel like you didn’t accomplish anything if it wasn’t hard or last minute? If procrastination could be your middle name, you are right where you need to be. Let’s talk about where this comes from.

For many sexual abuse survivors and/or persons with toxic childhoods, the pain of not being believed and valued by family members, turns into perfectionist behavior which is rooted in shame. You can take the ACE’s test to understand how adverse childhood experiences have impacted your life.

If your cries for help have gone unnoticed or unacknowledged especially for years, the lack of validation not only intensifies your emotional distress but also perpetuates the cycle of living out attachment traumas. The way you were treated in childhood becomes the way you perform or show up in other relationships. You may downplay your emotions, become a ‘fixer’ who is constantly rescuing others, feel intense social anxiety or have a deep fear of abandonment, causing depression.

In other words, you do whatever you can to be seen as near perfect for what you do, but you have little to no understanding of who you truly are.

I know Christ wants to set you free and show you who you are. Breaking free from this cycle first requires self-compassion and radical encounters with Christ’s love. Whether that comes through therapy, support groups, or educational resources, 80%-90% of all person who seek help from depression are helped1.

You can begin your journey with opening up to God in prayer by discovering the emotions that may be keeping you stuck.


Alexis M. Lott is a proud minister of The Gospel and is mental health first aid certified, finding it her joy to help women and men reconnect and forgive their families so they can experience lasting peace. You can follow her on any social media outlet @alexismlott or learn about her healing community here.